ASK MOM

Award-winning column encouraging parents to tackle the hard stuff.
by Mary Follin and Erika Guerrero

Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine

fredparent-logo-100

ON READING, WRITING AND KIDS

by | Sep 26, 2023

7 tips for teaching a fidgety child how to read.

Children want to learn how to read, but let’s face it, sometimes it feels like work. In the early lessons, there are some basics that need to be covered before the real fun begins. Learning all the sounds of the alphabet can take a long time for some kids, but until they know those, they don’t get to enjoy sounding out words and, well, reading.

When you are working with your child (on anything, for that matter!), does she wiggle a lot? Does he want to talk about what he found on the bottom of his shoe the other day? Does she look at everything but what you are trying to show her?

If so, good! Your child is perfectly normal. And fortunately, teaching reading with phonics is simple, straight-forward and works like building blocks. Over time, even the most distracted pupil can learn how to read.

7 tips to help you teach a child to read.

But until that happens, here are 7 tips for keeping your child focused on what you are trying to do:

  1. Keep it short. Three to five minutes a day, three to five days a week is the maximum amount of time you will want to spend on lessons. This will help make sure your child stays engaged during each lesson. (As an added bonus, you will always leave your young pupil wanting more!)
  2. Praise your child. Reward her with hugs and applause, even when things seem to be moving slowly. There are certain personality-types that will do anything for praise. If your child is one of those, hang a chart on the wall and put a gold star on it each time you finish a lesson. Take her to tea when she earns a week’s worth of stars.
  3. Be creative. Draw a picture of a word after she reads it. Or balloons when she gets her sounds right.
  4. Get moving. To keep your child physically engaged, let him blow bubbles or throw a ball each time he gets a word right.
  5. Make it cozy. Ideally, lesson time is on-your-lap time. If your child doesn’t get enough of this on most days, spending time on your lap will help keep him still. (Not too much time, though. You’ve got a short window before your child will want to get down. See #1!)
  6. Check your child’s vitals. Make sure your child is comfortable, well-fed and rested before you begin each lesson.
  7. Give it up. If it becomes too much of a struggle, stop and pick up where you left off next time. Sometimes, it’s a good idea to set the materials aside for a few weeks—or months. Take your cue from your child. She might be letting you know that she’s not ready yet.

You CAN teach your child to read—even fidgety ones.

In any reading program, the lessons really must stick to a 5 minute limit to accommodate the short attention span of a small child. (Or a busy mom!) One of the biggest downfalls is the overzealousness of the parent.  It’s tempting to keep pushing everything along so that you can start seeing results.

If this is how you feel, please don’t rush your child. There are no deadlines. Try to remember that each lesson is a time of enrichment, not measured success. ‘Showing off’ your child’s reading skills to friends and family may put undue pressure on her. Believe me, as your child’s confidence grows, she will proudly display on her own what she has learned!

Enjoy!

Mary Follin

Add to these 7 tips! I’d love to hear how you have helped your child sit still. Leave a comment.

ASK MOM: SON HAS ANXIETY ABOUT WORLD ENDING

ASK MOM: SON HAS ANXIETY ABOUT WORLD ENDING

Son Has Anxiety About World Ending by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine THE PROBLEM: I’m afraid my 13-year old son has gotten into some stuff on the internet that’s causing him a lot of anxiety. He’s convinced the world...

ASK MOM: DAUGHTER IS MEAN TO HER FRIENDS

ASK MOM: DAUGHTER IS MEAN TO HER FRIENDS

Daughter is Mean to Her Friendsby Mary Follin and Kristi Crosson​THE PROBLEM: I’m worried about my daughter and how she treats her friends. (She’s 11.) When they tell her something about themselves, she tries to make it seem less-than-spectacular. Like, when her...

ASK MOM: MY SON IS RUDE TO ME

ASK MOM: MY SON IS RUDE TO ME

ASK MOM: My Son is Rude to Meby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​THE PROBLEM: I’ve gotten into this weird dynamic with my kid. The bottom line is, he’s rude to me and I can’t do anything about it....

ASK MOM: IMPULSIVE DAUGHTER CAN’T STOP HURTING OTHERS FEELINGS

ASK MOM: IMPULSIVE DAUGHTER CAN’T STOP HURTING OTHERS FEELINGS

Impulsive daughter can’t stop hurting other children’s feelingsby Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family THE PROBLEM: My seven-year-old daughter has a bad habit of blurting out inappropriate things. She’ll say stuff like: “Johnny...

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A NARCISSIST?

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A NARCISSIST?

Am I Raising a Narcissist?by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead more ASK MOM advice. THE PROBLEM: I have recently learned that one of my friends is a narcissist (as diagnosed by a clinician), so I have been doing a lot of reading about the disorder. I am discovering...

ASK MOM: MY SON CAN’T CONTROL HIMSELF

ASK MOM: MY SON CAN’T CONTROL HIMSELF

My Son Can't Control HimselfRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazineby Mary Follin and Kristi Crosson THE PROBLEM: Since my son was little, he’s had a tendency to blurt things out and randomly do odd things. I thought he would outgrow it, but he’s in fourth...

ON KIDS, WRITING AND READING

Children's books do something to you. Do children's book titles hold the same enchantment for you as they do for me? Anne of Green Gables, The Long Winter (Laura Ingalls Wilder), The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew, The Little Princess (or Sara Crewe),...

WRITING A MIDDLE-GRADE OR YA NOVEL—EVERYBODY’S GOT TO HATE IT FIRST.

WRITING A MIDDLE-GRADE OR YA NOVEL—EVERYBODY’S GOT TO HATE IT FIRST.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. How do you write a novel? Make yourself sit down at your computer. Then, get up, go to the kitchen for a snack, eat it over the sink, sit back down again, look out the window and finally, go to Starbucks. At least,...

ASK MOM: IS MY KID FAKING IT?

ASK MOM: IS MY KID FAKING IT?

Is My Kid Faking It?by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine ​ THE PROBLEM: I’m beginning to worry about how often my son misrepresents things (he’s 9). I don’t mean he outright lies, but he’ll have these full-blown excuses...

TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ THE SECRETS OF THE PURPLE PEOPLE.

TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ THE SECRETS OF THE PURPLE PEOPLE.

By teaching your child to read, you are sharing wisdom that — until the last one hundred years or so — was imparted to only a chosen few. Not so long ago, reading was reserved for the elite, the revered and the powerful. And if you’re using a phonics-based method,...

ASK MOM wins parenting media association award!

ASK MOM: SON HAS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, STEPS INTO STREET

ASK MOM: SON HAS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, STEPS INTO STREET

Son has head in the clouds, steps into streetby Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​ ​ ​ THE PROBLEM: My son can’t get his head out of the clouds. (He’s 9.) He has a wonderful imagination and is...

ASK MOM: SON GETS LEFT OUT AT RECESS, IT HURTS

ASK MOM: SON GETS LEFT OUT AT RECESS, IT HURTS

Son gets left out at recess, breaks mom's heart.by Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine ​ THE PROBLEM: My fifth-grade son is having a hard time making friends this year. He had two good friends in his class in third grade,...

ASK MOM: OTHER MOMS MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF

ASK MOM: OTHER MOMS MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF

Other Moms Make Me Feel Bad About Myselfby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ THE PROBLEM: Everybody else seems to be better at “momming” than me. They all volunteer at the school, their kids always...

ASK MOM: SON TURNING INTO HYPOCHONDRIAC

ASK MOM: SON TURNING INTO HYPOCHONDRIAC

Son Turning into Hypochondriacby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine ​THE PROBLEM: Ever since the pandemic started, my 11-year old son ‘catches’ everything he reads about. He gets stomachaches, headaches, sore throats—any...

ASK MOM: SON HAS ANXIETY ABOUT WORLD ENDING

ASK MOM: SON HAS ANXIETY ABOUT WORLD ENDING

Son Has Anxiety About World Ending by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine THE PROBLEM: I’m afraid my 13-year old son has gotten into some stuff on the internet that’s causing him a lot of anxiety. He’s convinced the world...

ASK MOM: DAUGHTER IS MEAN TO HER FRIENDS

ASK MOM: DAUGHTER IS MEAN TO HER FRIENDS

Daughter is Mean to Her Friendsby Mary Follin and Kristi Crosson​THE PROBLEM: I’m worried about my daughter and how she treats her friends. (She’s 11.) When they tell her something about themselves, she tries to make it seem less-than-spectacular. Like, when her...

ASK MOM: MY SON IS RUDE TO ME

ASK MOM: MY SON IS RUDE TO ME

ASK MOM: My Son is Rude to Meby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​THE PROBLEM: I’ve gotten into this weird dynamic with my kid. The bottom line is, he’s rude to me and I can’t do anything about it....

ASK MOM: IMPULSIVE DAUGHTER CAN’T STOP HURTING OTHERS FEELINGS

ASK MOM: IMPULSIVE DAUGHTER CAN’T STOP HURTING OTHERS FEELINGS

Impulsive daughter can’t stop hurting other children’s feelingsby Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family THE PROBLEM: My seven-year-old daughter has a bad habit of blurting out inappropriate things. She’ll say stuff like: “Johnny...

About Mary Follin

Mary is the author of TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ and ETHYR, winner of the Moonbeam Children's Book Award and the Gertrude Warner Book Award. She is mom to two grown sons and enjoys sharing her more seasoned perspective  with parents of younger children. 

ABOUT ERIKA GUERRERO

Erika Guerrero is a freelance hair and makeup artist, Erika K. Beauty, single-mama to one amazing boy, and author of She’s Not Shaken, a blog offering hope and encouragement to women in all walks of life.

ABOUT SUZANNE JOHNSON

Suzanne Johnson, mother of five children and grandmother of eight, is an illustrator, book cover designer, and author of the Realms of Edenocht series.

ETHYR

M.P. Follin
​Gertrude Warner Book Award
Moonbeam Children's Book Award

An adventure for kids ages 8-12— especially if they like video games!