ASK MOM

Award-winning column encouraging parents to tackle the hard stuff.
by Mary Follin and Erika Guerrero

Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine

fredparent-logo-100

ON READING, WRITING AND KIDS

by | Sep 26, 2023

7 tips for teaching a fidgety child how to read.

Children want to learn how to read, but let’s face it, sometimes it feels like work. In the early lessons, there are some basics that need to be covered before the real fun begins. Learning all the sounds of the alphabet can take a long time for some kids, but until they know those, they don’t get to enjoy sounding out words and, well, reading.

When you are working with your child (on anything, for that matter!), does she wiggle a lot? Does he want to talk about what he found on the bottom of his shoe the other day? Does she look at everything but what you are trying to show her?

If so, good! Your child is perfectly normal. And fortunately, teaching reading with phonics is simple, straight-forward and works like building blocks. Over time, even the most distracted pupil can learn how to read.

7 tips to help you teach a child to read.

But until that happens, here are 7 tips for keeping your child focused on what you are trying to do:

  1. Keep it short. Three to five minutes a day, three to five days a week is the maximum amount of time you will want to spend on lessons. This will help make sure your child stays engaged during each lesson. (As an added bonus, you will always leave your young pupil wanting more!)
  2. Praise your child. Reward her with hugs and applause, even when things seem to be moving slowly. There are certain personality-types that will do anything for praise. If your child is one of those, hang a chart on the wall and put a gold star on it each time you finish a lesson. Take her to tea when she earns a week’s worth of stars.
  3. Be creative. Draw a picture of a word after she reads it. Or balloons when she gets her sounds right.
  4. Get moving. To keep your child physically engaged, let him blow bubbles or throw a ball each time he gets a word right.
  5. Make it cozy. Ideally, lesson time is on-your-lap time. If your child doesn’t get enough of this on most days, spending time on your lap will help keep him still. (Not too much time, though. You’ve got a short window before your child will want to get down. See #1!)
  6. Check your child’s vitals. Make sure your child is comfortable, well-fed and rested before you begin each lesson.
  7. Give it up. If it becomes too much of a struggle, stop and pick up where you left off next time. Sometimes, it’s a good idea to set the materials aside for a few weeks—or months. Take your cue from your child. She might be letting you know that she’s not ready yet.

You CAN teach your child to read—even fidgety ones.

In any reading program, the lessons really must stick to a 5 minute limit to accommodate the short attention span of a small child. (Or a busy mom!) One of the biggest downfalls is the overzealousness of the parent.  It’s tempting to keep pushing everything along so that you can start seeing results.

If this is how you feel, please don’t rush your child. There are no deadlines. Try to remember that each lesson is a time of enrichment, not measured success. ‘Showing off’ your child’s reading skills to friends and family may put undue pressure on her. Believe me, as your child’s confidence grows, she will proudly display on her own what she has learned!

Enjoy!

Mary Follin

Add to these 7 tips! I’d love to hear how you have helped your child sit still. Leave a comment.

ASK MOM: MOM LOVES ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

ASK MOM: MOM LOVES ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

Mom Loves One Child More Than the Other by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine THE PROBLEM: My daughter, who is now eight, was so easy I couldn’t wait to have another. As a baby, she had a smile for everyone. She’s the...

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A LIAR?

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A LIAR?

by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead more ASK MOM advice. THE PROBLEM: My daughter (she’s in sixth grade) lies about everything. I can’t tell if she’s living in a dream world, or if she’s doing it on purpose. I sometimes wonder if she is just exaggerating to try and...

WRITING FOR KIDS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

WRITING FOR KIDS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

Unless you remember what it’s like to be a child, you might have a hard time writing for one. Here’s what kids want hear about: The way you almost died when you found out your skirt was tucked up in your waistband in Mrs. Kramer’s fourth grade class How you felt when...

CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER: A PILGRIMAGE

CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER: A PILGRIMAGE

Some children's book authors are so good they become a part of you—forever. Each generation has its beloved writer(s), but for me and my sisters, Laura Ingalls Wilder was who we wanted to be. And if we couldn't be her, at least we wanted to know her. But since she...

BOYS WHO HATE TO READ AND THE PARENTS WHO WORRY ABOUT THEM

BOYS WHO HATE TO READ AND THE PARENTS WHO WORRY ABOUT THEM

Not all boys hate to read. But a lot do, and those are the ones we're talking about here. If a middle-grade boy is a reluctant reader, he's setting himself up for a lifetime of challenges he'd be better off without. [Granted, some girls hate to read, too. But far...

ASK MOM: SON HAS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, STEPS INTO STREET

ASK MOM: SON HAS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, STEPS INTO STREET

Son has head in the clouds, steps into streetby Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​ ​ ​ THE PROBLEM: My son can’t get his head out of the clouds. (He’s 9.) He has a wonderful imagination and is...

ASK MOM: SON GETS LEFT OUT AT RECESS, IT HURTS

ASK MOM: SON GETS LEFT OUT AT RECESS, IT HURTS

Son gets left out at recess, breaks mom's heart.by Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine ​ THE PROBLEM: My fifth-grade son is having a hard time making friends this year. He had two good friends in his class in third grade,...

ASK MOM: OTHER MOMS MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF

ASK MOM: OTHER MOMS MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF

Other Moms Make Me Feel Bad About Myselfby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ THE PROBLEM: Everybody else seems to be better at “momming” than me. They all volunteer at the school, their kids always...

ASK MOM: SON TURNING INTO HYPOCHONDRIAC

ASK MOM: SON TURNING INTO HYPOCHONDRIAC

Son Turning into Hypochondriacby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine ​THE PROBLEM: Ever since the pandemic started, my 11-year old son ‘catches’ everything he reads about. He gets stomachaches, headaches, sore throats—any...

ASK MOM wins parenting media association award!

ASK MOM: DAUGHTER’S RUDENESS GIVES MOM LOW SELF-ESTEEM

ASK MOM: DAUGHTER’S RUDENESS GIVES MOM LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Daughter's rudeness gives mom low self-esteem   by Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​ ​ ​ THE PROBLEM: Whenever I say anything to my 11-year-old daughter, she either ignores me or rolls her eyes. I...

ASK MOM: SON UPSET WHEN ROUTINE IS DISRUPTED

ASK MOM: SON UPSET WHEN ROUTINE IS DISRUPTED

Son Upset When Routine is Disruptedby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​​ THE PROBLEM: When my son was a baby, we kept him on a tight schedule—naps, feedings, visits etc.—and he seemed to do very...

ASK MOM: MOM LOVES ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

ASK MOM: MOM LOVES ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

Mom Loves One Child More Than the Other by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine THE PROBLEM: My daughter, who is now eight, was so easy I couldn’t wait to have another. As a baby, she had a smile for everyone. She’s the...

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A LIAR?

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A LIAR?

by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead more ASK MOM advice. THE PROBLEM: My daughter (she’s in sixth grade) lies about everything. I can’t tell if she’s living in a dream world, or if she’s doing it on purpose. I sometimes wonder if she is just exaggerating to try and...

WRITING FOR KIDS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

WRITING FOR KIDS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

Unless you remember what it’s like to be a child, you might have a hard time writing for one. Here’s what kids want hear about: The way you almost died when you found out your skirt was tucked up in your waistband in Mrs. Kramer’s fourth grade class How you felt when...

CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER: A PILGRIMAGE

CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER: A PILGRIMAGE

Some children's book authors are so good they become a part of you—forever. Each generation has its beloved writer(s), but for me and my sisters, Laura Ingalls Wilder was who we wanted to be. And if we couldn't be her, at least we wanted to know her. But since she...

BOYS WHO HATE TO READ AND THE PARENTS WHO WORRY ABOUT THEM

BOYS WHO HATE TO READ AND THE PARENTS WHO WORRY ABOUT THEM

Not all boys hate to read. But a lot do, and those are the ones we're talking about here. If a middle-grade boy is a reluctant reader, he's setting himself up for a lifetime of challenges he'd be better off without. [Granted, some girls hate to read, too. But far...

About Mary Follin

Mary is the author of TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ and ETHYR, winner of the Moonbeam Children's Book Award and the Gertrude Warner Book Award. She is mom to two grown sons and enjoys sharing her more seasoned perspective  with parents of younger children. 

ABOUT ERIKA GUERRERO

Erika Guerrero is a freelance hair and makeup artist, Erika K. Beauty, single-mama to one amazing boy, and author of She’s Not Shaken, a blog offering hope and encouragement to women in all walks of life.

ABOUT SUZANNE JOHNSON

Suzanne Johnson, mother of five children and grandmother of eight, is an illustrator, book cover designer, and author of the Realms of Edenocht series.

ETHYR

M.P. Follin
​Gertrude Warner Book Award
Moonbeam Children's Book Award

An adventure for kids ages 8-12— especially if they like video games!