ASK MOM

Award-winning column encouraging parents to tackle the hard stuff.
by Mary Follin and Erika Guerrero

Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine

fredparent-logo-100

ASK MOM: SON TURNING INTO HYPOCHONDRIAC

by | Sep 26, 2023

Son Turning into Hypochondriac

by Mary Follin and Kristi Crosson
Read on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine

​THE PROBLEM: Ever since the pandemic started, my 11-year old son ‘catches’ everything he reads about. He gets stomachaches, headaches, sore throats—any symptom he can think of. And each time, he’s sure it’s something deadly. He sings ‘Happy Birthday’ when he washes his hands, sometimes twice, just to make sure. (I even suggested he sing a different song to help him ease up on the compulsion, but he won’t.) I’m scared he’s becoming a hypochondriac. He can’t seem to stop thinking about his health. I keep telling him he’s fine, but that doesn’t work. I need ideas!

 

MARY SAYS: If ever there were a triggering event for developing hypochondria, a pandemic oughta do it. EVERYBODY has been inordinately focused on their health, other people’s health, germs, and the state of the planet for the last year or so. And because a pandemic is something most of us have never lived through, there are a lot of worst-case scenarios bandying about.

It’s the ‘bandying about’ that can actually be the most harmful to our children. This pandemic we’re in has many people fixating on how dire—and fragile—our existence on this planet truly is. Granted, the horizon is looking brighter, but many adults have been tripped into a state of heightened anxiety and can’t seem to get out of it.

Imagine what this does to the kids.

So, for starters, please be careful about sharing your worries with your son—or in front of him. If your family has been impacted by COVID-19—through illness, job loss, mental health issues—show your son how you are working through it, rather than how terrified you are. This doesn’t mean you should cover up what’s going on, but please limit your son’s involvement to a need-to-know basis.

Make a focused effort to point out the good news. The number of people getting ill is rapidly falling in multiple areas, and many of the places your son may have frequented before the pandemic will have opened back up. Remind him that children do not appear to be nearly as susceptible as older adults, and most people who get COVID-19 do get better. Make sure he knows this, since he is clearly picking up only on the bad stuff.

It might also be helpful to introduce some calming activities into your home. Rather than engaging in conversations about your son’s fears, break out some colorful paints and pads of paper, turn some fun music on, or show him how to sit quietly with his eyes closed for a moment of stillness. In all likelihood, your son’s anxious behaviors will subside when he feels as though the world is more ‘normal’ again. And who’s to say it won’t be? I’m not sure anybody has ever figured out what ‘normal’ really is.

Teaching your child to read? Learn about our online phonics program!

KRISTI SAYS: One of the unfortunate side effects of this pandemic is that it has created a lot of extra fear in children. Children who were never concerned about anything are now worried about everything. On the bright side, your son is doing a great job with one of the best ways to prevent sickness, which is proper handwashing. It’s something adults and even healthcare professionals struggle to do regularly.

The downside, of course, is that he is becoming compulsive. Fear causes people to do strange things, and it’s likely that fear is at the root of his new habits. He is scared to get sick and terrified of what will happen to him if he does. So, he has taken to doing the only thing he knows to control.

Washing his hands.

For him, a headache from dehydration could mean death is imminent. Or a scratchy throat from mild seasonal allergies is the end. Why not teach him some of your grandma’s remedies? Mine always had me gargle warm salt water for sore throats, drink a little juice and water and lay down for a bit with a headache. This may help him feel more in control and show him that he can do something proactively to help his symptoms.

Next, don’t let him have unsupervised access to news headlines and the internet in general. Fear sells, and unfortunately, many headlines lead with worst-case scenarios and the deadliest cases. While these situations are heartbreaking and true, they don’t tell the whole story. Most people who have been infected during the pandemic didn’t have symptoms, and those who did were only mildly sick and got better with the right treatments.

Take him outside. Go hiking on a trail or somewhere outdoors where he can feel safe from getting sick, but also doesn’t need to wear his mask. Some people are more prone to the negative side effects of mask-wearing, which can remind them too often that something is ‘off.’

Talk to your son about his concerns. Let him express how he feels and don’t judge him for it. This past year has been very difficult for everyone. Children lack the ability to process these hard emotions. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling, someone who can help him come up with strategies to overcome his fears. It’s likely your son is trying to process everything he’s feeling and looking for a way to be in control.

ASK MOM offers parents two perspectives on today’s child-rearing issues—one from a mom with grown children (Mary), the other from a mom raising small children (Kristi). If you’re looking for creative solutions, or your mom isn’t around to ask, drop in! 

If you have a question for Mary and Kristi, we’d love to hear from you! askmomyourquestion@gmail.com

Read more ASK MOM advice.

Your child can learn to read with phonics.

 
 
ASK MOM: MOM LOVES ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

ASK MOM: MOM LOVES ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

Mom Loves One Child More Than the Other by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine THE PROBLEM: My daughter, who is now eight, was so easy I couldn’t wait to have another. As a baby, she had a smile for everyone. She’s the...

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A LIAR?

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A LIAR?

by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead more ASK MOM advice. THE PROBLEM: My daughter (she’s in sixth grade) lies about everything. I can’t tell if she’s living in a dream world, or if she’s doing it on purpose. I sometimes wonder if she is just exaggerating to try and...

WRITING FOR KIDS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

WRITING FOR KIDS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

Unless you remember what it’s like to be a child, you might have a hard time writing for one. Here’s what kids want hear about: The way you almost died when you found out your skirt was tucked up in your waistband in Mrs. Kramer’s fourth grade class How you felt when...

CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER: A PILGRIMAGE

CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER: A PILGRIMAGE

Some children's book authors are so good they become a part of you—forever. Each generation has its beloved writer(s), but for me and my sisters, Laura Ingalls Wilder was who we wanted to be. And if we couldn't be her, at least we wanted to know her. But since she...

BOYS WHO HATE TO READ AND THE PARENTS WHO WORRY ABOUT THEM

BOYS WHO HATE TO READ AND THE PARENTS WHO WORRY ABOUT THEM

Not all boys hate to read. But a lot do, and those are the ones we're talking about here. If a middle-grade boy is a reluctant reader, he's setting himself up for a lifetime of challenges he'd be better off without. [Granted, some girls hate to read, too. But far...

ASK MOM: SON HAS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, STEPS INTO STREET

ASK MOM: SON HAS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS, STEPS INTO STREET

Son has head in the clouds, steps into streetby Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​ ​ ​ THE PROBLEM: My son can’t get his head out of the clouds. (He’s 9.) He has a wonderful imagination and is...

ASK MOM: SON GETS LEFT OUT AT RECESS, IT HURTS

ASK MOM: SON GETS LEFT OUT AT RECESS, IT HURTS

Son gets left out at recess, breaks mom's heart.by Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine ​ THE PROBLEM: My fifth-grade son is having a hard time making friends this year. He had two good friends in his class in third grade,...

ASK MOM: OTHER MOMS MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF

ASK MOM: OTHER MOMS MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF

Other Moms Make Me Feel Bad About Myselfby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ THE PROBLEM: Everybody else seems to be better at “momming” than me. They all volunteer at the school, their kids always...

ASK MOM: SON HAS ANXIETY ABOUT WORLD ENDING

ASK MOM: SON HAS ANXIETY ABOUT WORLD ENDING

Son Has Anxiety About World Ending by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine THE PROBLEM: I’m afraid my 13-year old son has gotten into some stuff on the internet that’s causing him a lot of anxiety. He’s convinced the world...

ASK MOM wins parenting media association award!

ASK MOM: DAUGHTER’S RUDENESS GIVES MOM LOW SELF-ESTEEM

ASK MOM: DAUGHTER’S RUDENESS GIVES MOM LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Daughter's rudeness gives mom low self-esteem   by Mary Follin and Erika GuerreroRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​ ​ ​ THE PROBLEM: Whenever I say anything to my 11-year-old daughter, she either ignores me or rolls her eyes. I...

ASK MOM: SON UPSET WHEN ROUTINE IS DISRUPTED

ASK MOM: SON UPSET WHEN ROUTINE IS DISRUPTED

Son Upset When Routine is Disruptedby Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead More ASK MOM advice in Fredericksburg Parent & Family Magazine​ ​​ THE PROBLEM: When my son was a baby, we kept him on a tight schedule—naps, feedings, visits etc.—and he seemed to do very...

ASK MOM: MOM LOVES ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

ASK MOM: MOM LOVES ONE CHILD MORE THAN THE OTHER

Mom Loves One Child More Than the Other by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead on Fredericksburg Parent & Family magazine THE PROBLEM: My daughter, who is now eight, was so easy I couldn’t wait to have another. As a baby, she had a smile for everyone. She’s the...

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A LIAR?

ASK MOM: AM I RAISING A LIAR?

by Mary Follin and Kristi CrossonRead more ASK MOM advice. THE PROBLEM: My daughter (she’s in sixth grade) lies about everything. I can’t tell if she’s living in a dream world, or if she’s doing it on purpose. I sometimes wonder if she is just exaggerating to try and...

WRITING FOR KIDS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

WRITING FOR KIDS IS ALL ABOUT YOU

Unless you remember what it’s like to be a child, you might have a hard time writing for one. Here’s what kids want hear about: The way you almost died when you found out your skirt was tucked up in your waistband in Mrs. Kramer’s fourth grade class How you felt when...

CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER: A PILGRIMAGE

CHILDREN’S BOOK AUTHOR LAURA INGALLS WILDER: A PILGRIMAGE

Some children's book authors are so good they become a part of you—forever. Each generation has its beloved writer(s), but for me and my sisters, Laura Ingalls Wilder was who we wanted to be. And if we couldn't be her, at least we wanted to know her. But since she...

BOYS WHO HATE TO READ AND THE PARENTS WHO WORRY ABOUT THEM

BOYS WHO HATE TO READ AND THE PARENTS WHO WORRY ABOUT THEM

Not all boys hate to read. But a lot do, and those are the ones we're talking about here. If a middle-grade boy is a reluctant reader, he's setting himself up for a lifetime of challenges he'd be better off without. [Granted, some girls hate to read, too. But far...

About Mary Follin

Mary is the author of TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ and ETHYR, winner of the Moonbeam Children's Book Award and the Gertrude Warner Book Award. She is mom to two grown sons and enjoys sharing her more seasoned perspective  with parents of younger children. 

ABOUT ERIKA GUERRERO

Erika Guerrero is a freelance hair and makeup artist, Erika K. Beauty, single-mama to one amazing boy, and author of She’s Not Shaken, a blog offering hope and encouragement to women in all walks of life.

ABOUT SUZANNE JOHNSON

Suzanne Johnson, mother of five children and grandmother of eight, is an illustrator, book cover designer, and author of the Realms of Edenocht series.

ETHYR

M.P. Follin
​Gertrude Warner Book Award
Moonbeam Children's Book Award

An adventure for kids ages 8-12— especially if they like video games!